true life confessions of a recess bandit.

winking and huffing.

2008-02-25T12:01:00.000-10:00

i have not slept for days. it sucks it hardcore to be blunt.

the thing is, i have started getting twitchy eyes. two twitches on one eye! geez louise this kid cannot catch a break these days!

the humor of the story:
i usually get caught doing absurd things, like walking around the grocery store with my eyes closed.

today i got carried away.

i accidentally winked at a newsbox today. when i realized i had done this, i stopped on the street and laughed aloud. the whole incident struck me as so funny, i winked at a dozen inanimate objects on the way home. i thought i was the funniest person in the world.

i think it is time for a nap.

For my nineteen birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat

2008-02-17T06:20:00.002-10:00

Have you ever heard the song The River by Bruce Springsteen? Really listened to it, felt it, kinda lived it?

A couple of years ago, a good friend of mine made me listen to the song. It was mid-afternoon. Late-summer sun-shiny kind of day on the East Coast. We were parked outside of my place in her 80's boat of a car that was falling apart, you had to hold the door closed on sharp turns. The stereo was so crappy. She was wearing a pattern dress and i had on levis jeans and a short sleeve snap shirt. We smoked a cigarette. I sat quietly listening, gazing out of the windscreen, getting carried away.

When I think back on this, I can only describe it as if we were in the song. We were the teens in love, going through hard times. There was an intimacy between us for that five minutes that I have not felt with anyone before, nor have I felt it since. I was friends with this person, but there was never any physical intimacy to it.

I have never felt so effected by a song before, apart from being a stoned teenager of course.

Why the divergence into my sappy Springsteen memories? The other day, during a workshop I was attending, I had to listen to some douchebag degrade my dear memories of Springsteen.

He was talking about going to the concert in Toronto. Some quotes:

"My buddy and I are going to grab a broad each to take with us."
"the place is full of fat chicks who dress like it is 1987"

gag.

Of course I did not say anything, it did not feel like it was a safe space for me. We were slotted to spend two days in a tiny room together.

So, I am reclaiming the song again.

I have been sitting in sunny windows with my big comfy headphones on and listening to The River on repeat, imagining i am driving around with the windows down.

I have no idea when I got so Moonie-like.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.SPOCK!!!!!

2008-02-14T11:57:00.003-10:00

oh. my. word.

i am so effing excited, i feel like i have to pee all the time.

check it:

That ol' choking feeling.

2008-02-05T16:06:00.000-10:00

My brain hurts so much tonite. I spent the day re-learning and learning new skills on the Avid system. The constant switch from film to video is exhausting, but I am so happy to be learning from a pro and not trying to teach myself at two in the morning with nothing but the internet and a free Avid version.

The training was amazing, albeit slightly distracting. I would not suggest trying to learn anything important from someone you find attractive. It is way to distracting. I kinda got all stuttery and and squirrelly every half hour. I am guessing the lack of sleep was not helpful either.

Film Updates:
I completly bailed on the tinfoil letters. They were making me want to cut my teeth out with the scissors, so I stopped. I spent two-ish days looking for a lettering system, and explaining madly to anyone who would listen what they looked like, asking where to get them. I found hem and bought a huge bag of almonds to celebrate. The opening title is pictured above. The sign is my new inanimate crush.

Another proud moment, I totally got off my procrastinating back end and hand processed my film. I now have the negative, which I shall turn into a positive in the coming days. I ran it through the Steenbeck the first time and walked out of the room. I hated it. Truly despised it.

Watched it again, still don't really like it, but I cannot care anymore. What is done is done. I learned enough from making the film that that the end result is somewhat insignificant.

Such proud accomplishments, socializing again, obtaining goals, teaching workshops, using public washrooms. I am a wreck. The panic has moved into my throat.

I thought I had this thing licked, no more panic attacks, able to move about freely. What to do....through my self into the fire and hope like fuck I make it.

I am going out to dinner with a friend to talk gender politics, continuing to breath, and smoking cigarettes.

it i since to know when i am about to crack and try to do something about it. life is lovely.

dragging my heels, then turning them.

2008-01-28T07:22:00.000-10:00

i am procrastinating. i should not be, i have way too much work to do, but my body feels shut down.

i procrastinated so much earlier, i taught myself how to knit socks! it is true. they are pictured above. at least it was productive, now i just stare into space, feeling on the edge of an overwhelming panic attack.

i am just a few days away from finishing my film. i think i am going to call it ReGen. but maybe not. i have to see it first, but i also have to shot the title cards before processing and contact printing. such a catch, having to name the film before seeing it.

i am nervous about finishing the film, what if i hate it? i have spend so much time and energy on this thing.

a rough estimate? 70 hours so far, of physically working on the film. countless hours worrying, sleep working, and fretting over details that nobody will notice.

i still have about 30 hours left of physical work.

the film is 1 min 13 seconds.

my guts hurt.

well, i have to go cut out letters from tinfoil for my credits. i am amazed how hard it is to cut tinfoil letters. i may just break and by some letters from somewhere.

nameless.

2008-01-26T07:50:00.000-10:00

lets' see if we can get this party started again.

some things noteworthy.

things have been going so well lately. I am facilitating FAB (film-making for absolute beginners) as well as one of three instructors. It is a youth outreach program. I set up workshops with youths to make a Super8 film. I am getting paid to teach film.....uhm, i am getting paid to teach film classes. so bizarre. so exciting, seeing as i am a college dropout and all.

i also taught an animation workshop. whose got mad skillz?!?!?!

i am also making a film right now. it is almost done. i have to keep telling myself that...i am almost done.....
i have learned so much with this film. did i mention it is hand made? meaning i have hand processed, hand scratched sound, even doing contact print on steenbeck.

it is all very exciting.

i also started washing my sinus'.

till then,

trb.

2007-10-03T17:31:00.000-10:00

..................................

2007-10-03T08:39:00.000-10:00

happy days to me.

trb.

2007-09-21T05:25:00.000-10:00

As my 34th birthday rapidly approaches, I am considering what it takes to be considered a successful adult in the eyes of the general public. A career, a family of your choice, a decent place to call your own.

None of these things apply to me.

I have been thinking about what it would take to rectify the situation. To purchase a dwelling. you kind of need money, which you kind of need to be working a lot to get. I have recently taken part in career assessment workshops, so it may still be a while for that to come about.

With that taken care of, I thought about getting hitched and what it would take to convince me that that is a good thing. The only way I would want to get married is for the First Dance together as a legally bound team to be of my liking. So far, I would consider getting married to dance to these songs:

1) The Marriage by Billy Bragg (lyrics)
2) Wishing the Days Away by Billy Bragg (lyrics)
3) Oh Sherry by Steve Perry, providing I marry someone named Sherry, which I would. (video), but one, or both of us, would HAVE to wear skin tight, high waisted jeans.

or.

i just marry the shoes I have fallen in love with:

Drink in the Magic.

till next time.

ever get that lazy "things are fantastic" feeling?

2007-09-09T12:34:00.000-10:00

Eugene-the laziest genius in the world.

some of the best days are here.

i went to an amazing wedding.

i start my tumbling and trampoline class on tuesday.

i have some of the greatest friends ever.

i am making a film, for free.

lovely.

2007-09-05T00:54:00.000-10:00

i am finally getting this morning thing down pat.

i am starting to feel so much better. eating well, resting, so accidentally straight edge it is kind of hilarious.

broken and brusied

2007-08-30T13:59:00.000-10:00

is how i feel.

my heart is not healing.

i miss my friend so much and nobody wants to fucking listen to me anymore. so, i utilize this thing to expel it all.
i feel like i let him down, not that i could have prevented him from killing himself, this i know, but i was not there to let him know how much he meant to me, how he was one of my best friends, how he inspired me to become the person i am on the way to becoming, how fantastic and beautiful he was, how i was in platonic love with him from day one, how special he always made me feel. i just fucking miss him.

i am tired and going without sleep and all my energy is put into taking care of a baby.

things are bad, i cannot lie. i need someone to hear me, i have nothing left for being sounding boards for others.

i will not be talking to anyone for a while because i would just tell you to fuck off anyways.

everything seems so trivial right now.

mind boggling.

2007-08-29T08:21:00.000-10:00

every now and again i think up some invention, or fantastic idea. usually, a few months to a year later, the idea/product that i thought of crops up somewhere. i had always just brushed it off as coincidence.

about a year ago, i had a vivid, apocalyptic dream about an imaginary house. the world was ending by means of the ocean crashing against it repetitively. i just happened to be at this odd shaped house, with a handful of my favorite filmmakers, when the storm hit. myself and the other party goers survived due to the structure of the house. i fell in love and saved the world....no, just kidding. i never dream romance themes.

as my dreams are often dramatic and genre oriented, the whole thing seemed unimportant.

but then i was on the Inhabitat site, which i visit everyday. i am trying so hard to describe this without sounding insane, or extremely dramatic, but when i clicked on today's post and scrolled down, it felt like my blood ran dry. one of the structures (see above photos) that is featured as a hurricane resistant house is the exact house from my dream.

I in no way want to take away from the importance and seriousness of the event, or the Inhabitat post, but it really freaked me out.

also.

everyone should check out their site often as it is so fantastic and then we can all be best friends and build sustainable container homes together.

the end.

baggy eyed and anti-social.

2007-08-28T00:29:00.000-10:00

i have started in to the full time work. i haven't held a full time job for years. it is true.

i start work at 8 in the morning, which is insane.

slowly, i am reworking my schedule to fall asleep before 5 in the morning.

my sleep is restless though as i do most of my thinking at 2 or 3 in the morning. so, as a result, i am over thinking in my sleep.

i am working on an experimental film currently and have been participating in a wide range of fantastic workshops on hand processing and optically printing film.

twice now, i have woken up, standing in the middle of my room, with invisible film strips in my hands, hand processing and exposing with invisible chemicals and flashlights.

perhaps i ought to have a worktable beside my bed. maybe my sleep-film-making is brilliant.

till then,
e.

Internet Down

2007-08-14T06:59:00.000-10:00

So, if i am especially slow at getting back top you, this is the way it is.

some things of special notice:

1) the "put your gay face on" spa day went over fantastically. i was amazed at the results and plan to make it a semi-regular occuring event, bringing it with me when i leave this town.

2) speaking of leaving this town, wouldn't you know i have met some new fabulous people. the conversation is always engaging. i was telling a friend about some of them , and one i described as "gets irate about the same stuff i do". i have been trying to convince some of them to move to vancouver. tifilis, you would like them.

3) i have also decided to maybe try to convince Indecisive to move out there as well. it is kinda a fantastic idea, would you say?

4) i found the perfect lake spot on sunday. a gaggle of us rode our bikes out to the lake because it was hilariously hot. how hot? well, piture this, at some point in the 45 minute uphill battle of a bike ride out there, i removed my shorts and biked in my swimming costume - or - underwear. for real. now, if by chance someone who does not know me is reading this, please understand that i am extremelly modest in my manner of dressing and have to struggle to have the top button on my polos undone. if the gap between top of collar and second button is more than 1/4', i attach a snap to correct the situation. so, the thought of me riding around town in my underwear is fantastically hilarious....especially because it was a thong.....no, just kidding. standard over sized black briefs perfect for the under cover ops i usually participate in.

so, my library time is running short, and this post is not.

i apologize for any speling mistakes as spell check is not on this public computer.

till next time,

bring your A game.

Welcome

2007-07-28T07:59:00.000-10:00

to the new energy saver.

and.

Blackle is the new Google, except I cannot customize my homepage with them, so and I do not want to give up my pony.

yesterday was wicked awesome. fixing a dears bike, attending a b.b.q. with some quirks, then off to a Halloween in July party. I dressed as a beach party. Rode home very fast in funny, backless dress, hung out with cats and then chitty chatted on speaker phone, very reminiscent
of party lines i never got around to calling as a teen.

so tired today.

2007-07-26T06:00:00.000-10:00

it is so hot in my apartment. i do not have a fan and do not want to purchase one as it will just be one more thing to deal with when i leave in Vanuary.

I haven't slept in days, not a full sleep anyways. Last night there was a disturbance on my street. My next door neighbor had his bag stolen and was shouting very loudly about how he was going to find the bastard and shoot his fucking head off, or something to that effect. He was under my window while shouting this.

I panicked, of course, who wouldn't being woken up to that.

His friends squealed their cars into the lane and their was a commotion as they conversed loudly about some guy with a gray mustache on Maitland who had a bag just like it so they were going to go "take care of him".

This event took up at least an hour between the initial shouting and the cars taking off. There have been three murders within five blocks of me within the past two(ish) weeks. I feel like shit today and I am wondering how the new mother across the street is feeling. I wonder if I should try to have a conversation with her, instead of the occasional nod.

When I moved to this street, I was so excited cause it seemed like such a lovely quiet street. A friend told me she lived on this street and more than once woke up to find blood all over the street. I realized last night that I had been to a party here once before, back in the drinking days. Someone I knew went across the street to a party, now my neighbors house. She was harassed while there. I, being the weirdo that I am, went to defend her/get her ought of trouble. I almost got beaten up.

I have a problem. When I get nervous I get lippy. Really lippy. I am like a tiny dog, except big, so it isn't really funny to the other person. It has almost gotten me shot at least three times, really shot, with guns cocked and what not. It kinda sucks and it needs to stop.

So, why the ramble? I am hoping that I learn from this. I feel like I am going over the edge somehow, feel like getting drunk, you know? But I have to remember the baggage and history the drinking causes me.

Shit, I even have history with the new mother across the street.

whoosh, i feel much better.

trb.

may i redirect your attention please....

2007-07-24T15:01:00.000-10:00

i had a post all planned out that was full or humor and good cheer, but then read my sister's post and thought it more engaging.

trb.

flabergasted.

2007-07-23T20:59:00.000-10:00

I just happened to catch the last hour of a movie entitled Black Girl. It was ridiculously mesmerizing and I want to see it again. I cannot find any copies anywhere online, and the IMDB's write up is lacking to say the least. The write up is here.

I am now on a mission to find a copy of this film. I did an internet search of the usual haunts here in town without any luck. If you ever see a copy of this movie, pick it up, watch it twice, then send it to me.

the dancing scenes are the best in the world.

trb.

i must say

2007-07-20T15:07:00.000-10:00

one of the best ways to spend a stormy afternoon is chatting with a dear friend.

e.

2007-07-19T19:48:00.000-10:00

happy pride gaywads.

yours,

living large,

the recess bandit.

Cathy Jones

2007-07-16T23:13:00.000-10:00

told me that she likes my glasses.
I almost told her she was part of the reason I moved out here.

Instead, i giggled like a donkey and keep walking.

such a fantastic day.

i'm going to live FOREVER!!!!!!!

2007-07-13T10:16:00.000-10:00

a small sample of the moles

at least according to this study.

a small excerpt:
"The results of this study are very exciting as they show for the first time that moley people, who have a slightly increased risk of melanoma, may, on the other hand, have the benefit of a reduced rate of aging," said lead researcher Dr. Veronique Bataille.

i am the most "moley" person i know.

and don't ask about the lip-stick.

when it rains

2007-07-11T11:08:00.000-10:00

rainbows appear.

it would appear that all is syncing up for this kid. it is almost eerie how it is all fitting in together.

after a self-induced, short time-out, i have reconnected with some of the best folks in this town.

while kicking around on bertha, getting my errands done, and enjoying the sunshine, i ran into someone i admire quite a bit. we hung out all day and night and made plans for a dinner gathering at my place. the soup was so good, i almost cried.

we ended up in a very intense conversation, which lead to the dearest suggesting i volunteer at The Youth Project. i was kind of wishy-washy about the whole thing, but later decided it would be a good thing.

So, fast forward to today, had a coffee date with a different dearest, enjoying fantastic conversation once again, when the company i was keeping had to skedaddle down to...........The Youth Project?!?! I was invited along for the Artsy Fartsy day to decorate for the float in upcoming parade. It was ridiculously delightful, and i will now be co-facilitating the trans-youth meetings.

so many other things are falling into place as well.

i have been making plans for the camper van plan. i think now is the time as things are going so smoothly. good times.

trb.

my face

2007-07-06T15:55:00.000-10:00

is killing me.

my entire body kind of hurts as i am going through withdrawal all over again.

i broke down and had drags of cigarettes the other night, and now i feel trancy.

i have began to enjoy the phone again as well.

long distance and close up.
gabby gabby gabby.

i want out so badly i feel shaky.

trying to get a photo show in vancouver, know anyone who wants my stuff?

trb.

ever so badly

2007-07-03T19:48:00.000-10:00

i want to be in b.c. for queeruption. i may hitchhike out if i can find a willing enough kid to go with.

know anyone?

trb.

nickelback

2007-07-02T07:04:00.001-10:00

is worse than i could have ever imagined.

wanna know how i know?

i worked the beer tent at the canada day celebration on citadell hill. i almost cried. i defiantly vomited in my mouth countless times, and my fingers are sore from opening approximately 900 beer cans in a few short (but so, so long) hours.

memorable quotes from the bands:
"there is some french dude talking to me on the radio. man, french is so fucking lame!"
"somebody's smoking some fucking pot. keep it burning dude, i love it!"
"you people in halifax can fucking drink like no others"
"next time, i promise to play naked"
and, my personal favorite,
"show us some love, and maybe if you show us enough, she(woman from crowd on big screen) may show us some love too, hahaha."

when i signed up for the job, i do not think i was thinking clearly.

the only thing that made it alright is the fantastic event i attended afterwards with the destiny's child cover band. sadly, the show was missed, but the party was so much fun. we even formed the gay alliance.

and there is a new radical thingy starting up which i have been invited to join.

now, i have to go wash the stink of nickelback, hedley and stained off of me.

trb.

Ruthie Take a Shower

2007-06-21T14:46:00.000-10:00

I smell Like a Flower.

or, rather an alcohol steeped hippy.

a friend gave me the remnants of a spray on deodorizer that consists of sage and alcohol. the stuff is like a miracle.
i have decided to wane a touch on the "no products" rule as I drink a lot of coffee, ride a bicycle every where and forget to shower quite frequently. being in an teeny tiny editing suite with various folks at various times, i have decided to be nice and not be so stinky.

now, isn't that nice of me?

Paydirt.

2007-06-16T07:31:00.000-10:00

Diana Moon enjoying the fluffy backyard.

I was gardening yesterday, an I found a loonie poking up from the soil. And, I have big fat strawberries growing. I think the only thing keeping me in this town is my fantastic apartment with a lovely backyard.

Unknown.

2007-06-13T10:26:00.000-10:00

Late night shenanigans again.
I discover a thing called Face Transformer, haveing exhausted the fun in MyHeritage, I decided to give it a whirl.

It wasn't as fun as the celebrity match up that myheritage offered, but the results are humorous in that "squished worm on the bottom of your shoe" kinda way.

the original:

As a baby, with a bow-tie of course:

As an old fella, or maybe it was as an ape, the similarities were astounding:

What was labeled as "West Asian":

And, my personal favorite, as Caucasian:

I love the ghost like ear shapes on all of them. Kinda makes me feel ear deficient.

2007-06-08T16:21:00.000-10:00

Glitter Graphics

today was so amazing.

I went for a three hour trail bike ride with friends, the view was lovely,we ate popsicles by the lake.

I came home and had a coffee float! So fantastic.

Went for a swim, well, a dunk really.
Went to a barbecue, were i was charming and hilarious, as per usual.

Then off to the DARTMOUTH CARNIVAL!!

I love love love the rides so much. Started with the Scrambler. Finished off with the zipper! Crap does that ride seem dangerously creaky.

This whole summertime business in Halifax is wonderful. I forgot how much I love it here during this time.

We'll laugh at that old bloodshot moon in that burgundy sky

2007-06-06T05:51:00.001-10:00

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. My room was so fantastically cold.

Dragged my self up, thanks in part to the cats hiding in various locations and mewing loudly and ear-piercingly.

First thing, I biked down Bayers Road without incident. Every time I travel down this one particular downhill stretch, a van or truck clips me. This time, I took up the entire lane. Worked like a charm.

Had a breakthrough in therapy. Lovely.

Stopped off at the Dollar Store and picked up supplies for my cat food making operation, putting me into Fully-Functional-Mode.

Rode home slowly because it is such a lovely day.

Stopped at the Steve-o-Reno's coffee shack and got a large Cafe Mocha, with soy milk, hold the whipped cream. The coffee so so effing good, I stopped in my tracks and weeped for a brief second.

And it is only one in the afternoon.

Crap do I love this non-smoking business.

I am totally going to go rock it like it's hot.

and prepare for the crushing pain and sorrow over the non-smoking thing that will hit me in the early evening.

so be it.

I'll shake forever and I'll never care

2007-06-05T09:48:00.000-10:00

i feel like breaking my own ribs, just to see if it really hurts.

i almost jumped into traffic to see if the cars would stop.

i jumped up to see if i could reach the rim of a basketball net.

i have had to put my bike away for fear of spacing out and drifting into traffic.

i break into a run sporadically.

i half collapsed because my legs forgot to move.

i took six photos of that fly.

i am half crazy, half paranoid, half asleep and one hell of a mathematician!

i have quit smoking and it hurts.

now go away you dirty bird, and allow me to pace in peace.

Oh Sherrie

2007-05-30T04:33:00.000-10:00

this is a little embarrassing, but when I was about ten or eleven, I had a strange crush on steve perry, from journey fame.

it was his single, oh sherrie, that drew me in. the video was on MTV quite often, and I developed a fascination for him. i am guessing this is what constitutes as a crush...a fascination?

there is something still enjoyable about the song, and when i looked at photos of steve, i was fascinated that i still found him attractive. it kind of explains a lot of things, like my immense attraction to large noses, and why i dated the only true head banger back in grade 5....the only person i dated, actually.

all of this leads me to the wonderful photoshopped work you see above. i call it "a delicious steve perry sandwich!"

enjoy!

my street is tiny.

2007-05-29T07:36:00.000-10:00

there are about 17 houses, maximum, on my little street.
double dead end street. it is pretty easy to notice what is going on on the street.

well, it would appear that someone living in the house next door is wanted by johnny law. i know because they came to my door asking me about my neighbor, and if i knew what houses where rentals. i am not going to pretend i know why the fuck the cops want to know which houses are rentals, that is just what the awkward cop asked me. poor kid hadn't the slightest idea what gender role to put me in, kept going back and forth from sir to madman, not that i mind.

the point of all this?

well, it would appear that there are two paddy wagons and one cruiser waiting for my neighbor to arrive home, i am guessing with the intention of bringing him into the station to do whatever it is they do here. the thing is, they are parked right outside the house. in plain view!

do they really think the kid is just going to walk into his front door without any indication that perhaps he may be in some sort of danger?

would he really go home?

it really is some sort of sting operation. amazing.

Too Much Fun.

2007-05-23T17:47:00.001-10:00

i think maybe my star trek obsession is out of control.

2007-05-18T08:16:00.000-10:00

You are Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard		85%
Geordi LaForge		75%
Data		73%
Will Riker		70%
Worf		70%
Spock		65%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		65%
Mr. Sulu		65%
Deanna Troi		60%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		60%
Uhura		40%
Chekov		40%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		40%
Mr. Scott		35%
Beverly Crusher		25%

A lover of Shakespeare and other
fine literature. You have a decisive mind
and a firm hand in dealing with others.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

my insomnia is back.

2007-05-14T10:11:00.000-10:00

leaving me hours of night time internet foolishness.

Your Score: Outcast Genius

73 % Nerd, 60% Geek, 52% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.

Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).

Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.

Congratulations!

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

this

2007-05-11T05:13:00.001-10:00

made my guts hurt.

face punching gone wrong.

2007-05-09T13:31:00.000-10:00

I imagine that punching a Jem'Hader in the face would hurt, as Commander Ben Sisko had to during the attack.

2007-05-07T14:17:00.000-10:00

i just got myself a chin up bar so i can be ripped like james t kirk. look out sexy aliens.

Starting Off

2007-05-05T06:39:00.000-10:00

okay, okay. so the accident wasn't tragic, and i am not bleeding profusely. the tragic reference was directed towards the ridiculous nature of my accident. my bike and i fell over last night while in a stand still position.

yes i am very awkward.

bleeding profusly.

2007-05-04T17:16:00.000-10:00

my leg is so cut up from a tragic bike ride home, i hesitate to expand.

grateful.

2007-05-02T11:56:00.000-10:00

i am so happy i am not being chased by a dinosaur. it is all i have thought about for the past few days. i have started to worry that i may run into a dinosaur around the corner and cannot bike away fast enough.

i am developing some sort of dino-phobia.

i don't kiss losers and i don't kiss winners.

2007-04-23T09:40:00.000-10:00

my head is buzzing with fantastics tales. my fingers have no desire to type them out.

one thing i will tell you, i had a fantastic weekend. i meet some wonderful folks.

i also experienced some folks making "suggestions" for how i ought to conduct my affairs, or rather lack thereof.

i am referring to being happily single for a significant period of time. is it really so bad to like being alone? having a queen size bed to myself? not finding someone else's hair in the sink?

dating someone bossy would suck. i am waiting for someone spectacular to travel my way. i think i deserve it, being such a catch and all.

Marry Me Jon Stewart.

2007-04-18T12:03:00.000-10:00

The following link is to a clip from the daily show regarding a person going through a transition and being fired over it. The Daily Show has managed to do another wonderful job.

enjoy: http://www.ifilm.com/video/2845521

for pete's sake.

2007-04-12T10:06:00.000-10:00

what an effing seven day stint it has been.

i used to have dreams that Vonnegut and I were drinking whiskey in random bars. He would just happen to be where ever I was.

i am going back to bed.

trb.

Failure to destroy.

2007-04-08T09:23:00.000-10:00

my plan for last evening was not followed through. instead of hitting the sauce as i had planned, i chatted with friends. today i am not puking.

i did manage to put together a crack team of animators though for a collaboration.

fucking heartbreak.

2007-04-07T10:40:00.000-10:00

i lost a very dear friend and it is making me crazy. one second i am doing that scream cry, sobbing uncontrollably, then a split second later, full calmness.

i feel like kicking and screaming and punching and biting.

three days now in a strange sobbing paralysis.

fuck.

there are many folks that i am supposed to get a hold of that are just going to have to wait.

tonite, i drink myself silly.

tomorrow, i puke for hours, hopefully.

i will be fine by next friday.

my ears are in love.

2007-04-04T04:06:00.000-10:00

two of the best things i have heard in the past few days are:

1) you put the suppository up the old cooley,stand on your head and let it get to work. (cooley is also the nickname of my old housemate)

2) you've seen my downstairs mix-up (after flashing someone).

chances are, these are not as amusing for you folks as they are me, but that is the way the cookie crumbles ya brats.

trb.

2007-04-02T08:44:00.000-10:00

cue the whirring sound...I am back folks. the kid downstairs is back into paying bills, and i am piggy backing once again. no more standing in the library or sneaking off at parties to send poorly written e-mails in a mad dash to stay in touch with all my favorite kids.

life is pretty good these days and i am currently pursuing my life long dream job. working with the post office. this is no joke. i want to be a letter carrier so badly. what better job for me. i could get jacked up on coffee, strap on an over-weight carrying sack and wander all around town avoiding human contact. i do that now for free, it is just as well i join one of the best unions around and make an effing career out of it.

plus, i love the mail. some could say it is a slight obbsession.

so, look for me wandering the streets, looking surly and uniformed and know that my heart is singing.

such fun.

till next time losers,
the recess bandit.

oh yeah, the picture above is a shortbread cookie made for me for my housewarming party by my former housemate.

it was so delicious.

out of the loop.

2007-03-12T06:04:00.000-10:00

i do not have internet at home anymore. as it turns out, my downstairs neighbour, whose router has been providing me of late, has neglected to pay the bills. maybe i will have to suck it up and pay for my own connection.

in the mean time, have you been to indecisive's place recently? there are some hilariously gross tales there, and her cynicism is still in place. in a world of unreliable internet connections, i can still rely on my kid sister to see the dark at the end of the tunnel. whatever you do, don't wish her a happy new year!

till we meet again....if internet ever returns to my house.

the recess bandit.

2007-02-22T05:15:00.000-10:00

i have decided to grow a moustache through sheer will power.

Finally Snapped.

2007-02-21T07:24:00.000-10:00

Something strange is going on.
I think I may have finally snapped, or, I am actually such a pure genius I have kept it under wraps from even my self up until now. Recently, I have started muttering to myself, well, I should clarify. I have always been a mutterer, rattling about town, grimacing and chatting to myself. It is just something I have learned to accept and not worry to much about. The problem is not the mutterings, rather the direction they are taking.

It seems as though I have started to solve math problems in my head. I catch myself going through these strange equations to which I haven't the slightest idea where the numbers came from. Seriously. It over took me one day, and I actually stopped dead on the street, trying to calculate as many decimals as possible for 14 into 333. I had arrived at these two numbers through a series of multiplying and dividing, but haven't any idea what, if anything, I was trying to solve.

The ridiculous thing about all of this, I am hopeless at math unless I use a calculator. I am a finger counter. It has always been a slight embarrassment, but I could never calculate in my head. I still can't, when I am fully conscious. But these Math Trances are different. My fingers stay in my pockets, I am solving the equations without their assistance.

I have gone through a ton of theories as to why these strange states are hitting me. My favorite one yet? Somehow I am connected to the Eye of Jupiter and that the fleet is tapping into me to chart their path home, to Earth. Worst case? It is the cylons that tapped in, and I am, in fact, one of the remaining five.

So, who wants to help me with the buckles on my straight jacket?

trb.

2007-02-17T14:10:00.000-10:00

coffee has turned on me. i have had 7 cups today and am still yawning like it is the end of the world.

i will sleep out in the gutter.

2007-02-15T21:58:00.000-10:00

may i, once again, re-direct your gaze elsewhere? all of my extra energy is being utilized by composing other letters of which you suckers will never read.

so, as a constellation, go here.

till next time.
trb.

good news.

2007-02-15T05:43:00.000-10:00

i received a letter yesterday:

Congratulations! Your film THE THINGS MY PARENT TAUGHT ME has been selected for exhibition in the 15th Annual $100 Film Festival to be held March 8-10, 2007.

and.

The festival provides one way shipping of your work. At the completion of the Festival, your film will be shipped back to you, pre-paid, along with a souvenir program, poster and screening fee.

a screening fee?!?!

how exciting is that?

trb.

2007-02-10T19:23:00.000-10:00

walked home tonite with my old banker. this kid had the most fantastic laugh and is going to teach me to be a hypnotist.

learned of new funding under way for my delightful animation project.

things are so fantastic when the mood strikes.

trb.

2007-02-09T07:35:00.000-10:00

i have been having a morning of pure indulgence. i am still in my pajamas, watching movies, and drinking coffee floats. i am going to be eating nachos with yogurt soon.

the coffee float was so delicious. java blend's fog city blend, with real vanilla bean ice cream. i feel like some sort of celebrity, except for the dingy pajamas.

well, got to get back to lounging.

p.s. if you are in the hali area, this is a warning. apparently this evening is the world's largest pub crawl or some shit. i am not stepping foot outside of my apartment after sunset.

Five Minutes of Intense.

2007-02-08T18:19:00.000-10:00

Dearest LuLu,

You have made me stand proud.
With thoughts of you, my swagger increases.
You sold me my first professional mustache.

I think of you and I can enter any room I want, with pride.

I will miss you forever.

I will cherish you forever.

truly,
Andy Rogenous.

2007-02-07T09:04:00.000-10:00

That Mitchell and Webb Look - Toothbrush Marketing

i picked this little gem up from discokuusisto's site. i laughed so hard.

and.

i am too effing lazy to do my own update still.

Giving in to Tempation.

2007-02-02T12:35:00.000-10:00

Yeah, so I am feeling lazy and plagiaristic. I saw this on someone else's posting. Avoiding work on the computer and linking through Friend's pages can do this to you. I tried it out and was oddly impressed.

You know the drill, player on random and watch the results roll in.

Enjoy.

Opening Credits:
The Hardest Button to Button - The White Stripes

Waking Up:
Chile Your Waters Run Red Through Soweto - Billy Bragg

First Day At School:
Lesson 02b - Language Learning Sapnish

Falling In Love:
Lonely - Tom Waits

Fight Song:
Bus-A-Bus Interlude - Missy Elliott

Breaking Up:
Her Room - Tiger Lilies

School Ball:
Accept Yourself - The Smiths

Life's OK:
Doot Doot Ploot - Hidden Cameras

Mental Breakdown:
Naomi - Neutral Milk Hotel

Driving
Capturing Moods - Rilo Kiley

Flashback:
I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday - Morrissey

Getting Back Together:
Flight of the Icarus - Iron Maiden

Wedding:
William, it was Really Nothing - The Smiths

Birth of Child:
No Name #4 - Elliott Smith

Final Battle:
Big Black Mariah - Tom Waits

Death Scene:
Is There a Beat Generation - Jack Kerouac

Funeral Song:
Can I Play with Madness - Iron Maiden

End Credits:
Closing Time - Tom Waits

My day kinda sucked enough to not want to tell you people anything, so, take what you can get.

hahahahahahhahahahahaha.

trb.

2007-02-01T18:45:00.000-10:00

The painting is drawing to a close. About time as well. There was a mishap which set me back quite a bit. The paint store mistinted the green I had chosen for my room, so I had to repaint it. I love the colour of it now though.

The living room is quite smashing as well. Imagine you have a can of magic, you open it up and it covers your walls. That is what my living room is now. Pure magic.

Still no phone.

A friend of mine bought a gorgeous road bike of which I will be eternally envious of. When we went to the bike shop, I fell in love with a bicycle. A Jamis Aurora touring bike. A shoddy photo is at the top of this post. It is 1000 dollars, so it will not be parked next to Bertha any time soon.

My studio is well on it's way to being fully functional, and I am looking into funding for another animation. Such fun.

over and out.

practising hermit.

2007-01-31T17:07:00.000-10:00

on the road to loserberg.

i am so giddy about my new place i never want to leave it. so, i don't.

well, i do. i went to lunnenberg today. that was fun.

still no phone and i am kinda enjoying that. i may forgo the phone forever. i have a bike, two legs, internet. what do i need a stinking phone for?

so, funny moving story.

i fell out of the back of the u-haul. it was about a four foot drop. i went from a standing position to landing face/head first on rusty fence and frozen ground. the large bin of bedding i was carrying did not touch the ground once. my killer instincts kicked in to protect the tupperware container full of duvets and sheets. i shielded them with my body. how fantastic is that?

also.

i need help with the colour scheme for my kitchen. the budget is non-existent now, but i can be resourceful if need be. if you are interested in putting in your three cents (i like the wage increase) and help me pick a color, drop me a line. or just drop in.

i am too high on paint fumes to continue.

yesssssssssssss.

2007-01-25T10:17:00.000-10:00

trb.

2007-01-20T06:42:00.000-10:00

Dear Airstream,

I like you very much. Now that you have re-designed the Bambi trailer, I am the happiest kid on the block. It almost makes me want to get a job! No trailer has ever done that for me before. Thank you.

heaving boxes.

2007-01-15T19:09:00.000-10:00

i am moving. i finally found an apartment on my own. i have decided to stick with hali for just under a year as there may be decent work for me in the near future. my new apartment is huge, and i have a small studio space.

and, i can do four chin-ups in a row, take a 2 minute break and do three more. i am so strong. i would totally date me.

the recess bandit.

p.s. some photos of the new bachelor pad. i am painting the place tomorrow cause it looks like ass currently.

kitchen

living room

and there is a huge bedroom, and stairs with a banister, and a tiny studio. but the studio is 7.5 feet by 7.5 feet, so i guess it isn't that small, really.

Solar Tube Skylights.

2007-01-02T19:20:00.000-10:00

This just made my year. Brilliant.

2006-12-31T12:31:00.000-10:00

I recently got a haircut from a friend and as a trade I was to take photos of the new haircut. I did a photo shoot with myself, which is very difficult for me. There were a ton of technical difficulties, as well as me being very uncomfortable during the entire thing.

The thing that gets me though is how I look.

Do I really walk around with this look on my face? I look as if I am emotionaly dead or something.

Emotional States.

2006-12-29T11:24:00.000-10:00

I keep telling myself that I will not get emotional and sucked into Battlestar Galactica, but it just keeps happening again and again. I am holding my breath during battles and rescue missions. I am getting misty eyed over the drama and touching speeches. I really, really want to know who the other five are. I am shouting to characters on my screen. It is truly ridiculous.

Things are good. The Jesus Season is almost over. This one was my best one yet.

I also received advice regarding my medical condition to see a chiropractor. Get adjusted. I have been trying to find a chiropractor in this city for a few weeks now. I miss getting snapped and popped.

I got nothing else. Not really.

OOOhhhhhhh, two posts in one day....

2006-12-15T14:05:00.000-10:00

I got the results from my blood work today. I was hoping for a vitamin deficiency. I even thought it was a good omen when someone I knew came out of my doctor's office, having just had her B12 shot.

Good news bad/bad news scenario. There is nothing wrong with any of my organs, I am not vitiam deficient, so it is probably all in my head. Which is the bad news. I probably have something firing wrong inside my brain, which means I have to go for MRI's, CTScans, and all that jazz. There are soooo many ways in which that sucks.

But this whining and dining my irrational fears is not what this entry is about.

After leaving the doctor's office, I felt really low. I needed a night to myself. I needed relief.

I needed to get drunk.

Only I don't drink alcohol, so, I needed to get drunk on food.

I went shopping for junk food.

This is where is gets ridiculous. You know what I bought?

Two cans of Organic Carbonated Juice, naturally sweetened, and two grapefruits.

Pathetic.

I tried really hard to buy some crap, but nothing appealed to me.

I was even more depressed at my recent failure, so, I forced myself to go out and buy myself a soda pop.

591 ML of Dr. Pepper.

It is going to be magic.

trb.

Still Delirious.

2006-12-15T06:59:00.000-10:00

Dear Norwalk Virus, I totally just kicked your ass.

yes, it has been a fun few days for the bandit. When presented with the overwhelming task of dealing with the virus I did not believe in previously, I suggest eating honey-crisp apples very slowly. By slowly, I mean eating one over the course of a day. It is true. I am an eater, a big eater as many know. Others eat nothing during their Norwalk visit. I eat apples.

Ramble.

2006-12-08T14:41:00.000-10:00

I have been slowly losing the use of my extensions. My fingers, my toes, up to my arms and my legs. They just go numb, I have been losing strength in them as well. My vision is turning into a fish eye lens, you know the kind that every skate photo is taken with.

I went to the doctor, because my arms have been turning to mush more aggressively these days, I figured it was a pinched nerve. I told my doctor of the ailments and she told me I would have to wear a cloth neck collar while I slept. I laughed and told her of my Nana, and we both laughed at the hilarity of it all. Something was wrong with my neck. hahahahaha.

"So, I guess that explains the lose of sensation in my feet as well?"

Her smile dropped immediately, she stumbled and stretched her mouth out again. My doctor turned away from me and started arranging things on her desk.

"We can get through this, we can totally deal with this." she never looked at me once.
"We have to get you in to the neurologist. Uhm, okay, go for some blood work and then we will make the appointment. Wait, no, we have to make the appointment right away. This is fine."

My doctor panicked.
My doctor panicked, and then she asked me how old I was, and then she told me it was probably a vitamin deficiency, and that I should not worry.

How am I not supposed to worry?

Have you ever seen your doctor panic over your symptoms? It totally sucks.

Carrot Top scares the crap out of me.

2006-12-05T11:42:00.000-10:00

And.

My days have been made by the following bit of news that I am sure at least one of you is going to appreciate. Twitch City is now available on DVD. Yes it is. I already have my copy. So lovely.

bursting bubble.

2006-11-28T12:23:00.000-10:00

this make me barf in my mouth.

2006-11-22T09:11:00.000-10:00

McCabe and Mrs. Miller is one of my favorite movies in the world. It is one of the few films that can bring me to tears every time I watch it.

There was a small part of me that always thought I could personally thank Robert Altman some day.

busy.

2006-11-10T19:18:00.000-10:00

So, from nothing to ton-o-ton of stuff. I have a job. yep. Mother's helper.

And.

I will be directing a short FILM soon. Getting trained to be the best director I can be as well. So effing exciting.

As well, my motther gave me a fantastic digital camera for my birthday. I have been taking so many crappy shots. I took a picture of David, from Six Feet Under, crying. I have also been shooting a few animations. Working the kinks out of some newly learned techniques.

So, I have decided that my cats and I are going to buy a small plot of land out west, and move into this. I think I was drooling while going through the photos and stats. I think I have a problem.

p.s. I just started listening to the Edie Brickell album, Shooting Rubberbands. I am amazed how much I am enjoying it. Oh nostalgia will kick me in the teeth every time.

so lovely linking.

2006-11-01T14:34:00.000-10:00

i need to get myself a job. i feel the need to purchase this and this. the others are nice as well, i just really like these two in particular.

oh, and speaking of lovely, and how fantastic i am, wouldn't i just be super charming in this or this?

this is also delicious.

p.s. the below picture is of me and housemate Max during function.

eat your heart out detroit.

This Shit is Toooooo Funny.

2006-10-29T20:07:00.000-10:00

So, instead of boring you with my stories, I shall re-direct you to my sister's recent post. My sides hurt from laughing so much. I don't recall ever seeing this picture before.

truly,
boxed in.

2006-10-24T06:58:00.000-10:00

YAH!

2006-10-23T05:40:00.000-10:00

So, Girl-ish Productions had a pirate themed dance party. I love a dress up dance party! I went as an ARRRRGyle pirate.

The tights are argle print as well.

And:

New Pearls!!!!!!!!

2006-10-22T09:53:00.000-10:00

2006-10-18T19:26:00.000-10:00

Dear Tifilis, I tried to call you this evening, but you decided not to be home. This is too bad as apparently, I am an excellent phone conversationalist! Oh well. Perhaps I shall try in the next day or two.....is one day better than another?

In other news: the housemates slept soundly as I danced up and down the hallway with fantastic music in my head. My monkey-duck slippers work wonders at keeping the sound of my footsteps to a minimum.

Also, I taught myself to waltz this evening. I am super graceful. You can ask anyone that was in my house this evening as I held multiple demonstrations.

i can lead and follow.

i am such a catch.

till it happens again.

2006-10-18T05:55:00.000-10:00

i feel as if i am drowning.

2006-10-17T13:21:00.000-10:00

I have stumbled upon a free studio space for me and my animation. Unbelievable. I can build and shoot there, with all access as far as I know. Super happy.

Plus: I am trying to make my way to Vancouver in the next few weeks. Please keep eyes and ears open for oppertunities. Thanks in advance.

6-8 weeks out of surgery......finally. I, rather unfortunatley, miscalculated and may have done some damage.

Things are progressing. I am finally able to move about and get things done.

the zine fair is on saturday. i will be kicking it with the kids.
there will be some video/film being shown.
my musical may be there.

Skipper.

2006-10-14T19:38:00.000-10:00

I once had a pony I loved very much.

Good Looking.

2006-10-11T06:47:00.000-10:00

Here is some interesting reading. Enjoy.

My shampoo, which I can admit, I only use once a month if that, scored a 1.3. I was quite surprised at this as I thought it would have scored higher. Maybe now I will wash my hair regularly...

2006-10-04T09:16:00.000-10:00

sloppy drunk= vicious hangover.

i lived though, which means i am not the messiah. explanation to follow.

happy birthday to me.

2006-10-03T07:39:00.000-10:00

my oh my what a handsome kid i am.

quite truly,
the recess bandit.

2006-09-28T04:22:00.000-10:00

Robert Sergal.

I would love to have this in paper format. I have recently taken to reading my comics in the beam of light that floods my room often.

Some fantastic folks presented me with Chris Ware's Jimmy Corrigan, The Smartest Kid on Earth during my hospital stay.

I would strongly recommend anything by Chris Ware. Especially if you have the time to lounge, such as I have. The only problem is that it makes me weep. And fall in love. It is messy.

sample of Chris Ware's work here.

disjointed sentences courtesy of lack of self control when being handed alcohol.

courtesy

2006-09-25T21:27:00.000-10:00

favorite one yet.

Difference of Opinions.

2006-09-24T14:40:00.000-10:00

Amazing how my Sparkling glasses make me look like more of a man than when I am dressed as Andy.

Another photo I uploaded told me I looked like Hugh Grant and Heath Ledger. Pontsey.

truly,
the recess bandit.

Kiss it as I Ride Away.

2006-09-22T06:29:00.000-10:00

Due to previously mentioned surgery, I was confined to walking about as my main means of transportation. I have no tolerance for the walk about. Today Bertha and I were reunited. It is semi slow moving, but we managed.

Oh how I missed my bike.

truly,
the recess bandit.

*please note: the above image is not Bertha, merely a representation. The above bicycle , whom I fondly refer to as Henry, shares a living space with Bertha. They are just friends.

My Kat Hates You.

2006-09-19T08:10:00.000-10:00

I found out about this Youtube link through DiscoKuutchie. Oh yeah, she will totally appreciate the re-naming. Well, here is the link. It is ridiculously funny.

trb.

This made my morning.

2006-09-17T04:00:00.000-10:00

That is all.

truly,
the recess bandit

Big Day Out.

2006-09-14T14:05:00.000-10:00

Yesterday was my first day out for a full day. It was way to exciting. Sad but true. I walked downtown and hung out with a new friend at my favorite coffee shop. Being there allowed me to mingle with some folks that I adore. I drank more coffee than I should have. Afterwards, my new friend and I went grocery shopping. I was in such a good mood I wanted to do something nice. Imagine that. My housemate, the one that still lives here, has been extra-special during my recovery time. She recently got hooked on coffee sweetened with honey, a habit I fully endorse, so I got her a huge jar of wildflower honey. If you steal it, does it still count as a generous act?

In other news....the original Unit has been split up. The friend/housemate that I got this apartment with has moved on. Funny thing is, he is here more now that he has moved out! Not that I am complaining! His sweet face will be missed in this house.

Shit is this post ever boring.

This is what happens when one is unable to leave the house for more than an hour at a time.

truly,
the recess bandit.

p.s. does anyone have any advice on how to tell if a friend is, you now, into you?
I had considered plying them with alcohol, but that would be sleazy...... wouldn't it?

Wedding bells are going to clank.

2006-09-11T18:29:00.000-10:00

Eugene Mirman checked out my Friendster profile. We are so getting married! Funny smells and all.

truly,
the recess bandit.

p.s. have I mentioned that I can not ride my bike for another month(!!!!!) therefore I may slowly recede into a blathering fool. No bicycle equals no sanity.

2006-09-03T18:50:00.000-10:00

Bob Odenkirk Rap

A little back to school special for you kids out there. This makes me laugh so hard, I think I pulled a stitch.

big baby.

2006-09-01T17:28:00.000-10:00

i have not done much but scream in pain. fuck does this ever hurt. i ran out of arnica. i ran out of patience. still worth it. worst part about it is that i can hardly read my books that i stock piled. a friend brought me Kafka's Metamorphisis books-on-tape cause i wanted to read it in the hospital. i am baking cakes for all my friends, as soon as i can lift my arms.

later.

the recess bandit.

p.s. i want to go see Little Miss Sunshine this week, any takers? you know where to reach me.

p.p.s. i love charles burns so very much. just so you know.

2006-08-31T09:57:00.000-10:00

Before

After

It is amazing. My shirt has no idea where to go anymore. It just kinda hangs off, looking all awkward and shy.

I cannot belive how happy I am.

truly,
the recess bandit.